I ask

I am not looking for answers here.
no solace they give me.
Rather are they questions that keep me going?
let me keep afloat for a little longer. I ask.

I know not time will betray when
no comfort shall be my award.
such pompousness, such audacity then?
let me walk for a little longer. I ask.

unprepared will I find me for the truth?
no contentment I do seek.
I say pander to my desires. O universe.
let me be non-commital for a while longer. I ask.

I surely know not what I seek here
no judgment of it I have it seems.
I say why I delay accepting the inevitable
let me be your slave right away. I ask.

Eid Excitement

Its time of the year when families wait to be reunited. Sivayyan, Shir and traditional foods are cooked with excitement through out the chand raat (the moon night), although not eaten by a lot of people with so much enthusiasm next day. Not that they are not delicious but people having just finished up with a month of fasting are wary and usually have upset tummies pretty early time of the day. The non-muslims friends are the one who actually enjoy eating them, unsatiated and usually asking for more.

The morning starts very early: wearing traditional clothes, tasting something sweet and going to the mosque for prayer.
Its the kids who have the most fun during the day. They get Eidi (eid money) from all the relatives who visit their houses after the prayers and sometimes the bold ones voluntarily visit people and collect it almost like tax.
Chacha aapne mujhe abhi tak eidi nahi di ? ( Uncle, you haven't given me any Eidi still?)

Grown ups don't find any excitement in wearing new clothes and also they have to go to each house giving away money. Although nobody complains about it and everybody prepares for it in advance gathering up changed currency notes in all denominations, but its still not fun and it becomes more like an imposed duty the more you grow up each year.
They will be trying to finish up all the houses in the town fast so they could get back home rest and invite their friends home.
Sometimes when the houses of special ones are farther away, they are left for the second day. As Eid is popularly celebrated for three days in south asia.
If the houses are even further away, they are left even for a month but Eidi is still given when a visit is made by either party.

Eid is not only about eidi though but it has got something and this is why everybody waits for it.
Some of them who don't fast wait for it so they would get their freedom back and some just wait for it for its special charm which can't be described in words.

For almost all, Eid is special though and most, if not all, wait for it. If some people are abroad or far way from home, they get a reason to be with family and enjoy.

The hunger

and a man sat alone drenched deep in sadness
and all the animals drew near him and said:
we do not like to see you so sad...
Ask us for whatever you wish and you shall have it.
The man said: I want to have good sight.
The vulture replied you shall have mine.
The man said: I want to be strong.
The jaguar said: you shall be strong like me.
Then the man said: I want to know the secrets of the earth.
The serpent replied: I will show them to you.
And so it went with all the animals.
And when man had all the gifts, he left.

Then the owl said to the other animals:
"Now the man knows much and is able to many things."
The deer said: "The man has all that he needs. Now his sadness will stop."
But the owl replied: "No, I saw a hole in the Man, Deep like a hunger he will never fill."
It is what makes him sad and what makes him want. he will go on taking and taking.
Until one day the world will say: "I am no more and I have nothing to give."

You reach out to grasp and you never grasp.

What is Cool and what is not?

1. A new unbreakable record in the latest computer game?
2. Knowledge and imitation of the latest trivia and fashion and talks and gossip about whats happening?
3. Being a Rocking guitarist or a pop singer?
4. An affair when you were in junior school?
5. Being a Basket ball champion?
6. A "very" foreign accent?
7. Branded Accessories?
8. Cigarettes or Alcohol?
9. A hot girlfriend?
10. Admission in some topnotch University?
11. All latest gadgets?
12. A PR of a so called modern country?
13. A name made similar to sounding that of westerners?
14. Foreign travel?
15. Enough money to splurge?
16. High profile Job?
17. On the Covers of some glitzy magazine?
18. Being a Top model?
19. Hollywood?
20. NASA?
21. Oscars?
22. Heisman trophy?
23. Nobel or Pulitzer Prize?
and etc. etc.

None of them. I believe none of them. Its that, we seek happiness in a lot of things. We say, we will be happy after we get this or we get that. But after we achieve something, we realize how worthless it had been and we are still unhappy and discontented, so we set another goal for us. I am not saying that we stop setting goals and stop all effort to achieve them. but what I mean is, we should set realistic and more meaningful goals and do our best to achieve them. And be happy, contented and thankful to our Creator and Sustainer through out our life.
Another point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. They are not second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners. And best of all, they don't even reach their graves. Do they?
Its for your own self to decide whats cool and whats not?

The beautiful Present

By Brooding over the past and its tragedies, one exhibits a form of insanity - a kind of sickness that destroys the resolve to live for the present moment. Those who have a firm purpose have filed away and forgotten occurrences of the past, which will never again see light, since they occupy such a dark place in the recesses of the mind. Episodes of the past are finished with; sadness cannot retrieve them, melancholy cannot make things right, and depression will never bring the past back to life. This is because the past is non-existent.
One should not live in the nightmares of former times or under the shade that one has missed. Lets Save ourselves from the ghostly apparition of the past. Do we think that we can return the sun to its place of rising, the baby to its mother's womb, milk to the udder, or tears to the eye? By constantly dwelling on the past and its happenings, we place ourselves in a very frightful and tragic state of mind.
Reading too much into the past is a waste of the present. When Allah mentioned the affaires of the previous nations, He, the Exalted, said

That was a nation who has passed away. Quran 2:134

Former days are gone and done with, and we benefit nothing by carrying out an autopsy over them, by turning back the wheels of history.
Our tragedy is that we are incapable of dealing with the present neglecting our beautiful castles, we wail over dilapidated buildings. If everyman and every jinn were to try jointly to bring back the past they would most certainly fail. Everything on earth forwards, preparing for a new season - and so should we.

So much for the Anti-Semitism...

I was forced to write about it. A jew would cry foul and call you anti-semitic whenever you say anything against them or Israel.

Semites: Descendents of Shem, Son of Noah (peace be upon him). The present day Arabs and some Jews are their descendants. These peoples are grouped under the classing Semitic peoples, chiefly because the languages Hebrew and Arabic (in addition to Aramaic and Amharic) were found to be related, deriving from a common language group. The Arabs, be they Muslims or Christians, are Semites.

And the irony of the situation is that not all Jews are semitic, There is strong evidence to suggest that many present-day Jews, particularly Ashkenazi Jews, are ethnically not Semitic, or only fractionally Semitic. Their ethnicity is primarily Eastern European, while they have maintained merely the cultural shell of their Semitic roots. This naturally does not hold true for Iraqi, Moroccan, and Yemeni Jews, among other small pockets of truly Semitic Jews.

If a Muslim is accused of anti-Semitism for his or her criticism of Zionism, he or she should remind their accusers that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was as purely Semitic as is humanly possible, and there is none that we as Muslims revere and love more than him. An Arab Muslim should simply say, "Hey, I'm Semitic."

Zionism:
Zionism is an international political movement that originally supported the reestablishment of a homeland for the Jewish People in Palestine.

The Zionist propaganda machine uses anti-Semitism as a tool to instantly dismiss and cast a cloud of incredibility over its opponents. It is a clever ploy to counter all criticism of Israel’s unjust policies. Few educated people are aware of the Israeli government's gross infractions of the Geneva Convention, as it carries on its increasingly brutal ethnic cleansing of the native Palestinians in favor of the "racially superior" Jewish settlers. Israel is an apartheid state by definition.

It is clear that Muslims have no business to oppose Judaism or the Jewish people as such; their criticisms must be directed only against the racist Zionist paradigm. In fact, Muslims must give special respect to the Jews as they are considered People of the Book, along with the Christians, according to the injunctions of the Qur'an. Muslims equally revere the prophets whom the Jews consider as theirs. All these prophets were the prophets of God and the religion they taught was the same religion, namely Submission to God (literally: Islam).

I am thirsty

A world of palaces, thrones and crowns

Where Man becomes the foe of Man

Where greed of wealth rules the day

What if you win this world, what then?

Every being lies wounded, every soul athirst

Eyes glazed with worry, hearts heavy and depressed

What world is this, bewildered, distraught?

What if you win this world, so accursed?

A world where Man is but a throwaway toy

Teeming with corpses and skeletons

Where life is a struggle and death is cheap

So you win this world-what then?

Where youth roams around in aimless distraction

And bodies adorn themselves to be bought and sold

Where love is but a sordid transaction

So what if this world is in your hold?

A world where humaneness has no place

Where loyalty and friendship means little or naught

Where love is shorn of all nobility and grace

Winning this world , you don’t win a lot.

So burn it to ashes, blow it all up

Push it aside , far away from my sight

Let me withdraw, it is all yours to keep

For a world like this, I will not fight.

Of hide and seek and the beautiful smile

A Journey of Conscience

Seven hours for a mere 150Kms. It was almost unending. The long traffic jam had almost drained us out as we were crawling at snails pace behind the countless number of lorries and other vehicles.

As I peeped out from the window to see thousands of devotees bathing in the Ganges almost oblivious of the rotting jam that we were stuck in. I wished to run away from it but I had little choice than to watch it till it ends. When we got out of the jam it was late evening already, the fast was over but for us. So we cruised along, fighting our way again through potholes and bumps.

I desired for a second, “Oh God, Let me not have to to experience this again” The unaffected and unpretentious love of my parents soon made me regret what I said and that I was ready to experience this a thousand times for them, for them alone.

It is small town of U.P., A state which is notorious for its power cuts. People here rejoice if they get power for 10 hours a day. A place where sometimes a running fan is a luxury and not a necessity in the scorching sweaty heat of summer here.

Material comforts and wealth are no doubt attractive but the soul instead craves for contentment. But not for those with a dead conscience already.

When you say hello as a greeting

I was taken to class recently by a fellow muslim when I didn’t greet him with the usual salam and a handshake.
I have the habit that I don’t like to impose myself of a different faith on others. And don’t let others impose there radical beliefs on me.

Although there is no harm in saying Assalam o alaikum i.e. Let peace, mercy and kindness of God be upon you.
I just don’t want to feel and change my ways according to the "names" people have or "race" they are from and act accordingly.

But there are people who’d avoid and prefer not to side by people just because they have a beard or are devout muslims (or atleast they look like one)
This disgusts me and I eventually take the route that disgusts me even more.

I am hardly, hardly an archetype of a complete muslim and don’t mind much of religion but this not respecting of my privacy and religion puts me into a disarray.
Its a human tendency and quite natural. I begin to sympathisize with my fellow brothers.

"They bomb them, raid them, fuck their mothers and sisters and then call them terrorists" The route from "I love USA" to "I love USAMA" (This is taken from the movie Khuda ke liye meaning "For Gods sake")

I, personally believe that Islam is the most idealistic religion and should be a path to follow for everyone. Its the most peaceful and loving religion anybody can imagine.
Its only that a lot of misunderstandings keep floating about it. And also the lack of right information.
It is a different story although that I still couldn’t persuade myself of being the perfect follower.

moments of quietness

I remember talking to a good friend of mine sometimes back. Although its a little cliched but I just feel like writing it down now.
She goes like,
"The fairer sex always favor and like the company of smart talking boys, who can make them laugh. Not someone who travels around a dreamland twice and ask, Can you share the joke?"

Sometimes memories make us weak, they stop us from going to the extra mile just because we have never been there. But at the same time, they give us valuable means to live, to carry on and never give up.

She carries on,
"You should never try to rescue them stupidly and in turn earn their loathsome kindness. Infact the last thing you would want from them is to be kind to you."

I remember her words and I speak, I trip and fall down and pretend to laugh.
I don't mind being called dumb by others as long as my intense thoughts don't go in vain.

As nostalgia befalls again, I remember

This is the land of my hopes
This is the land of my dreams
This is where men with zeal stayed
Men who answered the leaders' call
It is here that torn-off love
Found the cohesive chords
It is here that wayward passions
Formed into frenzied love
It is here that the wild tulip learnt
How to make the scar of heart aglow
This is the land of my hopes
This is the land of my dreams
This is the place of men of vision
And of those with a challenging thought
Every morning here is new
And every evening newer still
Different is this tavern
And different are its norms
Different are the dancing cups
And different is their dance
Here drinking begets thirst a new
And different is this tavern's call
This is the land of my hopes
This is the land of my dreams
Here, conscience is the beacon light
And conscience is the guide
Here is the Mecca of heart resides the guiding faith
Ceaseless movement is our faith
And blasphemy it is to stay still
Here, the destined goal is the march on and on
Here, the swimming urge seeks
Newer and newer storms
Restless wave itself is our resurrected shore

My Zameer

I had a little chat with her a few months back and I don't know why I am indulging in reminscence of her now.

I spoke to her and as was expected of me, I put forth all that I had in my mind.
I really wish I could be lesser forthright than I am.
Anyway, It was a wonderful experience talking to her. When I took or seeked her help in the decision to be made. She simply said, "I should listen to my zameer (Inner voice)".
Now it was funny because I didn't want to listen to my zameer. It had misguided me several times before.
But now after so long when I reflect upon it a second time, I realize our zameer also takes into account the information you have.
A better informed zameer takes better decisions. So I guess, it wasn't entirely my zameer's fault.

So next time if I ask my zameer, what? why? or even which? and I am not satisfied with the answer in conjunction to the practical world.

I can always backtrack and know for myself.

Change we can believe in?

We all love change as much as we hate it.
Whether we are going to like a new turn of events in our fate, depends on how poised and primed we are for it.
Lets not go into a serious contemplation now. Let me rather see its lighter implications.

We might embrace a change when we want to but we continue to yearn for the old because a change is relative. Soon the old becomes the new new and the new becomes the old new.
So changes are best liked when we can get rid of them whenever we want to. We are most comfortable with them that way, never when its forced on us.

Its like I wouldn't mind sitting in the office till late hours until I am asked. Because its not "work" until you are asked to do it ;)
The inner self will be egoistically inclined to resist the change put up against it. So, its best not to be a desperate bastard to try to give up smoking without a reason or without a conscious mind. One will give up only to start again.

An uninvited change from the outside world on the other hand does not go well with our independence but not many people complain.
As its observed not all of us prefer independence, because with independence comes responsibility and the need to stand like a rock.

Language Combat

The inferiority of one race or language over another is abominable for me. I am coming to know of this more in a foreign land, where we say we are from India and not from Delhi, Mumbai or Chennai.

Its believed that the British Raj exaggerated differences between northern and sourthern Indians beyond linguistic differences to help sustain their control of india.
But looks like we were too innocent to understand that then or I can say we are too stubborn still to get over the arrogance we have developed so far.

The thing that eats me is not a virtual wall that stands between us (Indo Aryans and Dravidians) but the pretense we all live in.
We are one, we will all say but I have seen disgust and unfriendliness deep inside some people for our national language.
I won't suggest forcing down one language over somebody or a group of people because it can have undesirable repercussions. But If we understand this, we will sure win hearts and develop respect of each other.